Thursday, January 31, 2008


I couldn't think of a topic for Thursday 13. But I read an article about Starbucks in the NYT this morning and thought, sheesh, are they overrated or what? I enjoy Dunkin' Donuts' coffee, and it's cheaper (so far). That twinkly little thought led to this meandering goofy list. I even shouted out my husband for an addition, because I didn't think I could actually come up with 13 Overrated anythings, hence the gas mileage moment around the middle of my list. He's cute -- always comes down to money for my husband, which is why I love him so.

Without an organizing theme and without further fanfare... here goes:

1. Starbucks -- and I think they know it. Now offering $1 cups o' java (which includes, so I hear, free refills -- will wonders ever cease). We do just fine without Starbuck in Vermont (except those high toned college kids in Burlington have the only 2 in the state). I don't mean to get political, but how does a nation in debt have the balls to ante up for $4.50 cups of coffee and not properly armor their soldiers for war? I'm just sayin'. And yes, I have bought my share of venti eggnog latte. I'm not gonna show my complete ignorance by trying to write one of those long, OVERRATED coffee orders people shout at the counter. Sheesh. That could be another T13 list in itself.

2. Valentine's Day -- Lordy, how people get sucked into this Hallmark Holiday. I'd also like to include the other MANUFACTURED holidays: Mother's Day and Father's Day. Like my father always said, "Every day is Mother's Day." I think the same goes for the ones you love. Valentine's Day is completely out of control, as far as the major commercialism. Way overrated.

3. Gas Mileage -- those numbers on the car stickers. No way those are ever truthful. Wouldn't you think we (the American ingenuity machine) could invent a car that didn't run on fossil fuels and a fuel that didn't use fossil fuels to get made? (Yeah, that was an awkward sentence, which should show you just how pissed off all this makes me these days)

4. Algebra -- come on... you have NEVER used this since the 7th grade, have you?

5. Designer Clothes and Accessories -- If you pay $500 for a handbag or shoes, you are crazy. Period.

6. Resumes -- Do you know anybody who got a job by sending a resume to anyone? No. Usually it's who you know. As it is in most cases with all sorts of stuff. Oh, maybe I will substitute this one for #14?

7. Brittney Spears -- I cannot be-lieve I typed that name on my blog. Slap me! Just typing her name and the word "overrated" in one sentence is redundant. BUT... isn't all this hoopla over a person just OVER THE TOP. All right already! If you hadn't looked lately, Media Types, we're in an f-ing WAR where 3941 Americans have sacrificed their lives, and the number of innocent Iraqi civilians is estimated at 1 million. So, enough with the spoiled rich girl and her sad life. This also includes all the other ego-centric divas and divos. I pledge never to buy a magazine with any of them on the cover. Ever.

8. TV -- Oh, the horror! I don't watch American Idol! My life is dust on the wind. Shame. This is another one everybody has bought into, and now we who have not are oft labeled "granola eaters" or "nuts." Huh? It's one big "buy this" machine. Helllooo.... who's the sheep? Surprisingly you really can live without t.v. I've done it now for seven years. And...I'm alive to tell the tale. Wow. I especially feel smug during election season when I am not constantly subjected to ads, spin, pundits, and idiots from either side of the aisle. Thank the gods.

9. Tom Cruise -- Who cares? Actually, with all the nonsense and papparazzi hoopla surrounding his life 24/7, I think he's very irresponsible to bring a child into the world and subject her to the scrutiny she'll have to bear for an entire lifetime -- birth to death in the pages of all sorts of magazines. Maybe at one point he could act (Born on the Fourth of July) but that's a moot point now. He's jumped the shark. He's pole vaulted the shark. Heck! He's Nordic Ski Jumped the bloody Jaws shark.

10. Celebrity Pregnancy -- Please. Women have been having babies for... what? ... MILLIONS OF YEARS. What is sooooo precious about these "baby bumps"? Gag me. As if these women will be changing diapers or washing spit up out of their designer (see above) cashmere sweaters.

11. James Joyce -- I'm not bragging, so don't get me wrong here, but I made it through several advanced degrees in English without reading Ulysses and Finnegan's Wake. I could add a few other pieces that I never read and I know quite a few English professors who might cop to never having read some "major" overrated works. Of course, with art, that "eye of the beholder" rule is in play. I'm sneaking onto #11 Thomas Pynchon and Gravity's Rainbow. Please... it's a terrorist plot to ruin minds. Do not attempt to read it. Ever.

12. California -- And I'm a third generation native California girl, and proud of it. Still, now that I don't live in CA and merely visit, I don't miss all the nonsense and traffic. Nope. People always ask "Don't you miss the beach?" and I might, but I don't miss the hour of looking for a parking place. And driving through the heinous five lane pile ups to get to the beach. And back. No.... I am on a quest to find a secluded beach to visit. Florida? just no.

13 Vacation Homes -- I have enough to worry about one home. We used to have a vacation home, but it's so overrated. We figure that in the next 20 years we could go on one terrific month-long luxury vacation and still not spend what a beach vacation home would cost (and you gotta include all the extras: taxes, utilities, insurance, homeowners' association, and so on). We've thought about it, but no. This goes for Time Shares, which we both own and wish we didn't.

Wow... I can't believe I could come up with 13. When I started typing, I never thought I'd get a list. Sometimes (most times) I thoroughly amaze myself.

Have a nice day! (overrated greeting? yeah)

OMG... I was looking for some graphics and found this. I wish I could do a #14, because SHEE SHEE FOOD is hysterically overrated. I'm throwing the whole picture in here.


Gina Ardito said...

Oooh, a water sommelier? "For your drinking pleasure tonight we have Poland Spring, Aquafina, or NYC Tap."
Great list, Miz Zee, as always!

Ellie said...

Great List! Although, I have to say I have a slight quibble with number eight. Many (and I actually do know many, must be my bohemian background) people who I know who do not 'watch tv', do have a TV, but they never, ever watch anything 'live'. So no cable, satellite or even those porcupine rooftop monstrosities. The set is only used as a means to hook up a DVR to watch movies or even television series on disc. But live TV? not them.

Me, I have kids and TiVo so, while most of the time we watch stuff that recorded earlier in the day/week (and thus skip all the commercials that make live tv tedious as well as ignore the shows imposing a timetable upon us), there are times we watch 'live'. And, yes, I have to admit American Idol is one.

As will be the Super bowl. Hey, we're just outside New York. It is a BIG thing around here. ;-).

Zara Penney said...

And #15

The letter of recommendation written by the boss for the employee he's about to lose?

Oh yeah?

And number #16

Tender veal Angus beef from the green valleys of Vermont and weaned only a week from the rich mother's milk hand fed only verdant green rich grass...

Yep really saw this... too much information. I like my moo cow straight from supermarket freezer to mouth. No icky bits.