Thursday, February 07, 2008


Really. He does. You know how when you go to certain sites you have to "register" -- which is a secret code word (yeah, right) for "we will send your email address to every whack job in the universe so they can send you insane emails".... right? Well, I must have "registered" at least once using my dog's name.

I've been saving up these emails for a T13. Now's the time to unload 'em. I'm not feeling particularly pithy about much else this morning after a foot of snow fell on top of the icy slush we received from the heavens the day before yesterday. One more reason I LOVE VERMONT -- ample opportunities to snuggle inside, drink coffee, and write!

1. Casou Losa, Auto Loans for ANY Credit Type

Without a working thumb, Casou finds driving a bit difficult.

2. Casou Losa, Take 30 seconds to read this email - get the Credit Card you need

He's already maxed on his credit card, but thank you. (No wonder we're having a bank melt down, huh?)

3. Casou Losa, why wait for payday?

Trust me, Casou never waits for payday. Around here, he eats first.

4. Casou Losa, Your Medical Billing career awaits!

Vix, any room for Casou at your office?

5. Casou Losa, 401(k) knowledge is power -- over your future!

If my sneaky-yet-frugal husband could figure a way to salt money into an account for Casou and deduct it from our income, trust me, Casou would have a large money market account, some stocks, and a load of tax-free municipals. Would that he could.... But you know Casou, just a playboy with a spend, spend, spend attitude about life.

6. Casou Losa, Looking for a trade school? Enroll now.

No, Casou opted for a four year degree and a life in academia and never looked back, although at times he's sorry he didn't pursue his secret love of the culinary arts.

7. Casou Losa, Secure your family - Affordable term life

The way Casou tells it, life insurance is not the way to go. He's banking on affordable squeeky toys and being carried upstairs every night and sleeping on the bed. OH. He already owns those perks.

8. Casou Losa, Easy Work

Why work? What could be easier than a dog's life? Eat, sleep, pee, poop, and repeat. A couple chew toys, a treat or two. A little classic rock, some cool jazz. Life is good. And no hassles with Medicare.

9. Casou Losa, Visit beautiful Hilton Head now!

Casou would love to go, but the Amtrak people don't allow dogs on the trains. He loves Four Seasons, because they welcome him with open arms. What's wrong with this picture? Amtrak, going broke, won't allow dogs. Four Seasons, awash in cash (despite overcharging for small rooms and even smaller items in the mini-bar). Go figure.

10. Casou Losa, Get paid to Review Products

The extra income might be handy, but Casou's not sure he can take time away from my writing to pursue his own. Just wouldn't be fair. Wake him later. Maybe he'll reconsider.

11. Casou Losa, Your Windows will look wonderful

Oh, surely you gest? Constant nose smeers. The human folks are not thrilled when they leave me in the car and I just gotta see that German shepherd in the SUV parked next to us. Gotta! Gotta! Gotta!

12. Casou Losa, Does your Valentine have the wrong sign?

No, Casou's Valentine is a dog and all she's waving is her tail, which is sign enough, believe me.

13. Casou Losa, psst, this offer will expire soon

Casou's learned that every email offer expires, only to return to life a day later. He's enjoyed the lesson in patience that email affords, and now, he's back to sleep on the big blue pillow under my desk. Yeah, what a life.


Ellie said...

Wouldn't it be great to be Casou? Except for the spam, of course.

But, wait, someone else takes care of that!

Yep, it's official, I want to be Casou :-)

Gina Ardito said...

Good news! Casou would not need any schooling medical billing for a job in my office. He will, however, need a Social Security card, which just might be his downfall. (I've heard rumors he's an illegal immigrant.)

Zara Penney said...

Casou is really an albino dwarf from Sicily, but ssshh

I won't tell anyone. Promise.

Anonymous said...

Charlie says to tell Casou to send any of the busier sounding emails his way. He's an energetic Shih'tzu and would mind doing a little work for his own spending money. Daisy, the love of his life, is expecting something for Valentines.

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