Sunday, October 22, 2006

Heart Attack

By now everyone knows that my husband experienced a heart attack.  And I keep saying that I had a heart attack, too.  Is that too much "me me me"???  By saying that I had a heart attack, I hope to convey the seriousness of spousal involvement.  I hope to say "I'm in this with you, honey."  By no means do I think I actually HAD a heart attack.  But I do think my life has changed immeasurably and I need to face facts.  Mortality has reared its ugly head.  Not that we all don't consider our mortality... as in DAILY.  But a heart attack and all the attendant bells and whistles brightens the spotlight on that  dull black gloom of the afterlife.  Strike that.  What is TRUE... we now hold life a bit more dear, a bit more cherished, and we are laughing a lot more.

Mostly my writing has bitten the dust.  I'm sure I'll be back.  I've been feeling overwhelmed.  I have mucho papers (freshmen comping) to work, and midterm grades are due this week.  I have family arriving November 1 and I'd like to finish some nifty (if I do say so myself) Halloween decorations -- my theme is "spiders."   All that, and I've been baking bread.  Which is why I'm awake right now, at midnight on Saturday.  Waiting for bread to bake.  Mmmmm.  The aroma fills the house -- wheat, raisin and walnut bread.  I think it's doomed to failure, but I know my husband will eat just about anything.  Kindness extended reveals a BIG heart.  I think he can handle this heart attack business just fine.  It's me we all have to worry about -- yeah, yeah, yeah -- always all about me, huh?  Back to the bread... see you later.


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