Heart Attack

By now everyone knows that my husband experienced a heart attack.  And I keep saying that I had a heart attack, too.  Is that too much "me me me"???  By saying that I had a heart attack, I hope to convey the seriousness of spousal involvement.  I hope to say "I'm in this with you, honey."  By no means do I think I actually HAD a heart attack.  But I do think my life has changed immeasurably and I need to face facts.  Mortality has reared its ugly head.  Not that we all don't consider our mortality... as in DAILY.  But a heart attack and all the attendant bells and whistles brightens the spotlight on that  dull black gloom of the afterlife.  Strike that.  What is TRUE... we now hold life a bit more dear, a bit more cherished, and we are laughing a lot more.

Mostly my writing has bitten the dust.  I'm sure I'll be back.  I've been feeling overwhelmed.  I have mucho papers (freshmen comping) to work, and midterm grades are due this week.  I have family arriving November 1 and I'd like to finish some nifty (if I do say so myself) Halloween decorations -- my theme is "spiders."   All that, and I've been baking bread.  Which is why I'm awake right now, at midnight on Saturday.  Waiting for bread to bake.  Mmmmm.  The aroma fills the house -- wheat, raisin and walnut bread.  I think it's doomed to failure, but I know my husband will eat just about anything.  Kindness extended reveals a BIG heart.  I think he can handle this heart attack business just fine.  It's me we all have to worry about -- yeah, yeah, yeah -- always all about me, huh?  Back to the bread... see you later.

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Take A Look - We DO have a plan!

This is a great video of John Kerry on Bill Maher.  It's time to quit saying Dems don't have a plan.  He's been explaining his plan for pulling out of Iraq for a long time. I hope. I hope. I hope...somebody listens!!!

http://www.johnkerry.com  -- look for the video re Maher

How do you ask someone to be the last man to die for a mistake?  Vietnam.  Iraq. 

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Bread

What is it about the process of baking bread?

I forgot how much I love baking bread.  The hours of anticipation, combined with the moments of work, the amazing yeasty aroma which premeates the house, and the textures and tastes of the finished product, provide a full experience of life.   I feel connected to an ancient chain -- a hand on the staff of life passed for thousands of years.  As I tenderly pull apart the delicately strong weaving of wheat, I see the connection to my writing life. 

I have combined elements, deftly employed imagination, and allowed for ideas to rise, like the yeasty bubbles in the dough.  I've kneaded -- oh, how I've kneaded.  And rested.  And kneaded.  And allowed for more rising. 

As yet, I've no finished product, no enticing aroma wafting through my home.  Obviously, what is the point, if not to taste the fruits of my labor? 

I'm making a vow to finish MAGIC IN THE MIX, one of my four novels, by the end of 2006. 

Meanwhile, I'm hooked on baking bread. 

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